Thank you, stranger with a paint can, for the gentle nudge.
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Liked? You’ll love this one too.
Fake it til you make it
6
Author Archives: PeaceLoveGuac
Keep walking
The downside of being a word nerd?
It’s all you can do not to correct graffiti typos.
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10 Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didn’t Blog in My Twenties
Florence, Italy 1992
Ready for a fun trip down Fuzzy-Memory Lane? Some friends and I are all answering the same prompt today and explaining why you should be glad we didn’t blog in our 20s. Here goes..
1. Because I’m so much cuter now without the Freshman 15. (Can you call it that when it lasts all four years?)
2. Every Monday night my blog readers would need to do the secret sorority handshake before logging on.
3. My fashion advice would have been heavily influenced by the stage where I transitioned, rather abruptly, from oh-so-preppy Molly Ringwald to the not-so-preppy Kurt Cobain.
4. That one summer I studied in Italy and learned what existential meant. (FYI, it means existing on wine, white bread and all-night discotequeing.)
5. My travel reviews would have been iffy at best. Sleeping on the floor of friends-of-friends? Adventurous! Sharing a hotel room that accommodates 3 king-size beds? Efficient! A hostel room with a bathroom door that actually closes? Luxury!
6. You would have to hear me gush over how much I looove R.E.M. Oh wait, I still do that.
7. The page you are are now reading would take 20 minutes to load via MY VERY OWN 14.4 modem and free AOL cd.
8. Remember how I got that great job writing for HealthyPet.com and all my friends thought I had found Jesus and was working for HealThyPet.com? That.
9. You would have hated me at 24. I had no college debt, a decent 9-5 job, fun co-workers, and I spent every weekend skiing or hiking in the Colorado Rockies…I’m nauseated and jealous of my former self even now!
10. My Pinterest boards would have been carefully designed with photos of our first married apartment, decorated in “Early American Wedding” style: two dozen versions of engagement poses over the mantle, a flowery Picasso poster above the sofa, and oversized silver Arthur Court bowls adorning every wobbly, wood-veneer surface you could fit into 500 square feet.
Don’t worry, there’s more! Visit my funny friends and read about their non-blogging 20s…
Wait in the Van
Tales of (Married) Mikkimoto
Ann’s Rants
Wendi Aarons
Midlife Mixtape
The Flying Chalupa
I’m Gonna Kill Him
Smacksy
Earth Mother just means I’m dusty
Motherhood in NYC
The Mama Bird Diaries
Baby on Bored
Unscientific Method
Problem:
Is it possible for parents to help their child with her first Science Fair project without having a nervous breakdown?
Hypothesis:
No. Considering the combined parental baggage of perfectionism, overly optimistic time management skills, three kids, two jobs, and various other non-optional duties such as grocery shopping and showering.
Procedure:
- Start early!
- Make a plan!
- Buy adorable radish seeds and potting soil!
- Pat yourself on the back about how relaxed you both have been and how your child is doing this TOTALLY ON HER OWN, just like she’s supposed to!
- Realize the night before the project is due that your child types at a speed of approximately two words per minute and even though she OWNS THIS PROJECT, she must please for the love of God let me type something, anything, just tell me what to type to get this freaking show on the road.
- Walk away and let her type.
- Pour some tea.
- Wait for reinforcements, who in this case is your Knight in a Shining Elvis T-shirt.
- Cook dinner.
- Wash dishes.
- Make lunches.
- Tuck siblings into bed.
- Cross fingers.
Results:
Return to find a dining table covered in poster board, paper clippings, double-sided tape, photos, markers and charts…right alongside a beaming child.
Conclusion:
This scientist was wrong. It can absolutely be done, just not without the patience of a saint and the spirit of the King.
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Liked this? Here’s an oldie but goodie you might enjoy!
A simple quiz
Enough about me, let’s talk about YOU, dear readers.
Take a look at this 30-second video, then answer the question below.
If you can’t see this video, click here.
What’s the first thought that popped into your head?
A. Wow, where DOES he get his fearless athletic abilities?
B. You are so lucky to have a future Jackass star in the family!
C. I think you skipped a chapter in the Great Parenting Handbook.
D. Time to go all Tiger Mom and get this kid in a Pre-Olympic Training program.
E. Thank God I have daughters.
F. You call that cute? Wait til you see my kid doing aerials on rollerskates!
G. Here’s the name of my personal-injury lawyer. Just in case.
H. Pass the Xanax.
I. Know what would be even cooler? Hooking up a helmet cam on that kid!
Taking inventory
January: the time to assess and reassess. To take stock. Make plans. Set goals.
I’m shaking off my holiday hibernation and am now knee-deep in all of the above. It’s energizing to look at the long list of projects I have on my horizon.
The first thing I can share with you…I’m thrilled, once again, to be co-directing Austin’s 3rd annual Listen to Your Mother show with the fabulous Wendi Aarons. We are now accepting submissions and hope you will share your stories of the good, the bad, and the ridiculous of motherhood. For details and inspiration, visit our website and YouTube channel.
Stay tuned for more good stuff in 2013!
Merry signs of life
As if I needed any more reminding, our Christmas tree stands proudly in the living room bearing all the signs that kids live here.
The gaudy seahorse, who apparently hit the Black Friday sales rack at Sam Moon and couldn’t stop herself; the salt-dough gingerbread boy who is painted in nontraditional Christmas attire because its creator went through an extended blue period where no other color would suffice; and of course, the wise Yoda, who like the Magi comes cloaked in robes bearing peace and glad tidings. Happy the Holidays we hope you have!
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As always, thank you for reading and sharing this space with me.
I’ll be unplugging for the holidays, though I will likely sneak in some
periodic Instagram and Facebook posts.
Join me there or enjoy some of my favorite posts from 2012.
After the Goodbyes
Forget Me Not
Sibling Revelry
Look Again
Learning to Exhale
Get There
Voices
Singing the Blues
See you in 2013!
Thank you?
Mom! I love that new shirt!
Thanks, sweetie.
You know Mom, I love how you dress. And I love that you aren’t too pretty to be a Mom.
I mean, all frou-frou and what not. Your style is…what’s the word I’m looking for?
Cool?
No, that’s not it. Give me a minute…
Counting
This mother’s prayer for today:
Please never stop saying eleventeen.
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If this rings true, you might like these oldies but goodies:
Resilience and Deaf Ears.
I mean, seriously
Things that are “RIDICULOUS” to a precocious 10-year-old girl:
• Dad standing outside the shower telling me to hurry up. I am hurrying!
• Every single boy in the 4th grade. Except maybe two of them.
• In that Backyardigans episode my little brother watches, the Olympians are playing basketball when the sport wasn’t even INVENTED until like the 1890′s
• Bedtime rules on school nights
• That Mom and Dad always know when I sneak candy
• Peanut butter
• Girls who go nutso over 1D. I mean, I love their music but really?
• My brothers and all their wrestling
• Pirates
• When I can’t stay up as late as I want to read. It’s reading! It’s educational!
• With the word moist you pronounce the t, but with moisten you don’t
• Crying and whining totally works for my little brother
• Watching Star Wars for the bazilliionth time because my brothers got to pick
• I can’t have a playdate today when I NEVER EVER see my friends
• Pancakes without bacon
• Mom’s no-soda rule
• That one lady on Design Star
• Mom and Dad telling me not to nitpick
• That casual attire doesn’t always means Nike shorts and a T-shirt
• People in the world who haven’t read the Harry Potter series a million times
• Pretty much every pair of clean socks in my drawer
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You likey? This is the third in a mini-series.
Check out the ANNOYING and BORING things here!
