Category Archives: Living the Dream

Taking stock

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May 2013 GratitudeAs a very busy spring ends, I’m taking a breath before the season changes again.
Oh, these transitions. They require so much practical planning and emotional adjusting.

Depending on the day, I find myself either madly cramming in every last project on my hefty To Do list, or paralyzed by those jobs that simply won’t get done before summer begins.

When I find myself overwhelmed, my first urge is always to freeze time. I’m a time junkie.
Just one more second…I swear that’s all I need.

So I do. I find my camera and I freeze time. And the results become a visual gratitude journal, complete with friends, family and the wondrous, inspiring place I call home.

When words fail me, my eyes save me. Every single time.

It’s happening

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2013.02.23.BracesTomorrow-15

Between the monkeys and the puppy, it’s a miracle I’m getting anything done around here.

But somehow, things are all coming together. This year’s Listen to Your Mother show is happening in just a couple weeks and it’s going to be fantastic. We have a very talented cast of writers and performers, ready to blow you away with their heartache and hilarity. All in the name of motherhood. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Mother’s Day (a few days early!)

You can get to know the cast here. PLUS…you have a chance to win two free tickets to the show. Bring your best friend, your spouse, your mother…but take my advice and leave the monkeys and puppies at home.

Don’t miss out on the fun on May 9th at 7pm! Buy your tickets today!

Unscientific Method

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2013.01.ScienceFair-1Problem:
Is it possible for parents to help their child with her first Science Fair project without having a nervous breakdown?

Hypothesis:
No. Considering the combined parental baggage of perfectionism, overly optimistic time management skills, three kids, two jobs, and various other non-optional duties such as grocery shopping and showering.

Procedure:

  • Start early!
  • Make a plan!
  • Buy adorable radish seeds and potting soil!
  • Pat yourself on the back about how relaxed you both have been and how your child is doing this TOTALLY ON HER OWN, just like she’s supposed to!
  • Realize the night before the project is due that your child types at a speed of approximately two words per minute and even though she OWNS THIS PROJECT, she must please for the love of God let me type something, anything, just tell me what to type to get this freaking show on the road.
  • Walk away and let her type.
  • Pour some tea.
  • Wait for reinforcements, who in this case is your Knight in a Shining Elvis T-shirt.
  • Cook dinner.
  • Wash dishes.
  • Make lunches.
  • Tuck siblings into bed.
  • Cross fingers.

Results:
Return to find a dining table covered in poster board, paper clippings, double-sided tape, photos, markers and charts…right alongside a beaming child.

Conclusion:
This scientist was wrong. It can absolutely be done, just not without the patience of a saint and the spirit of the King.

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Liked this? Here’s an oldie but goodie you might enjoy!

Merry signs of life

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Kids Were HereAs if I needed any more reminding, our Christmas tree stands proudly in the living room bearing all the signs that kids live here.

The gaudy seahorse, who apparently hit the Black Friday sales rack at Sam Moon and couldn’t stop herself; the salt-dough gingerbread boy who is painted in nontraditional Christmas attire because its creator went through an extended blue period where no other color would suffice; and of course, the wise Yoda, who like the Magi comes cloaked in robes bearing peace and glad tidings. Happy the Holidays we hope you have!

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As always, thank you for reading and sharing this space with me.
I’ll be unplugging for the holidays, though I will likely sneak in some
periodic Instagram and Facebook posts.

Join me there or enjoy some of my favorite posts from 2012.

After the Goodbyes
Forget Me Not
Sibling Revelry
Look Again
Learning to Exhale
Get There
Voices
Singing the Blues

See you in 2013!

10 Truths About Hosting Your Daughter’s First Slumber Party

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1. If tears are not shed the week before the party, you aren’t trying hard enough. If your daughter is old enough for a slumber party, you are experienced enough to know the emotional build-up to any birthday is a tragic, unavoidable reality. This is particularly true for monumental celebrations (Hello, remember your 40th?)  and especially brutal when a party warrants you to kick the husband and boys out of the house and invite a pack of girls to arrive in their place.

2. Everything must be perfect and fabulous. Chances are, you and your daughter will disagree on these definitions, but often that can help bring on the necessary pre-party tears. (Win win!) Stand your ground, wherever it may be. (My personal strategy is to fall somewhere between “Yes to the 12 kinds of sprinkles but No to the rented photo booth.”)

3. You will need a wingwoman. Preferably someone who complements and balances you out. Someone who can apply makeup, make impromptu microphones out of aluminum foil and spatulas, laugh loudly with you, and repeat quietly, “It’s fine. It’s fine….”

4. Speaking of makeup, you will need to stock up on new kits and sharpen your application skills. The natural golds and browns that fill your bathroom cabinets will have no place at this party. There will be two kinds of girls: those who want the dark, smokey eyes and those who want the bright, colorful ones. Watch out for the girls who pick the smokey eyes. Danger lurks in the shadows.

5. When the party is in full swing, there should be plenty of thumping music, but no lectures. Make peace with that right now. Even if you think you have an open mind about your daughter’s taste in music, nothing prepares you for the moment when a favorite (uncensored) song comes on and every girl belts out bitch without missing a beat. (Insert your wingwoman: “It’s fine. It’s fine….”)

6. The dancing will be silly and fun and campy for approximately 12 seconds, until a few girls (always the smokey-eyed ones) will whip out their best gyrations, hair flips and pouty looks. You will shoot photos, laughing casually and then uneasily. When one girl’s hip-shaking move turns into a come-hither, crawling-on-the-floor maneuver, you might need to leave the room and pour yourself a glass of wine. No shame in knowing your limits. (“It’s fine, it’s fine….”)

7. It is usually around this point of the party that the flash-backs/flash-forwards begin. Every moment from middle school and high school will come rushing back to you. Every sleepover, every awkward cotillion party, every Lucky Star line dance. You will see The Breakfast Club stereotypes appear before you and you will instinctively know which girl jumping on your hearth, or lounging on your couch, or contriving her body on the floor will be the Molly Ringwald, the Ally Sheedy, the Anthony Michael Hall. The future is now.

8. As the evening comes to a close, you will have to abandon your Fun Mom facade for your That Mom uniform. You might start with, “Ok, girls, seriously time to go to sleep…” and then move to “If I come out here again…” but at some point you likely will find yourself standing silently in the dark, arms crossed, hovering over a pile of sleeping bags, your mere presence threatening even the slightest giggle. If you get here without tears, you will know you have arrived. You have earned yet another Mom Badge. Wear it proudly until morning.

9. The day after is always The Day After. Both you and your daughter will be hungover like you haven’t felt since 1993. Sleep deprivation, sugar overload, post-party depression, you name it. Consider this a mental dehydration that no amount of gatorade or grease can cure. The only guaranteed solution? Trash TV and time.

10. With time will come recovery. Just like the days and weeks following childbirth, you will forget the pain and enjoy a simple nostalgia. You will wonder what the big deal was after all. Enjoy the delusions for a while because next year, mark my words, the party will be omigod even bigger and better!!

On the road

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The twisting, two-lane road running from summertime to schooltime is littered with countless potholes and ridiculous roadside attractions.

The Valley of Cute New Alarm Clocks, which seems novel and thrilling at first, loses its luster once everyone realizes it is only open before dawn. Both the World’s Largest Pile of Paper and the Museum of Uneaten Lunches will leave you reaching for your Dramamine.

If you’ve traveled this road before you know the alllure and pitfalls of the most popular tourist traps. The PTA Mountain Range, with its promises of glory and satisfaction, sees many a climber stumble from volunteer vertigo if they don’t watch their step. The quaint Extracurricular Activity Stands with their hand-painted signs selling everything from soccer teams to scout troops…taxes might be included, but make no mistake there are hidden costs, usually in the form of snack mom or chaperone or person in charge of sewing on patches.

Be wary, travelers. This journey, it is full of sharp turns and very few straightaways.

Even getting close to home presents its own challenges. At many an intersection there is a grief-stricken child holding out his hand and begging for your attention. The clever ones make signs: “Will Work (kinda) for a Homework Pass.” “Need Just One Ride to Practice.” “Can you Spare a Video Game Privilege?” Give him a buck if you must, but then drive on, mama, drive on.

You have a destination, and I swear it’s gotta be just around the corner.

Elbow room

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Visual proof that the road trip temporarily known as Hell on Wheels was well worth the effort once we arrived. All we had to do was give each kid his/her very own mountain.

(Click collage to enlarge.)

Happy End of Summer, y’all!!

Voices

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I’m no public speaking pro. In fact, up until recently I would have preferred to get a colonoscopy in front of 3,000 people rather than speak in front of them. But sometimes life surprises you and you get to surprise it right back.

In May, one of my essays was selected as a Voice of the Year for the BlogHer 2012 conference, and I was asked to read it during the Community Keynote along with 14 other bloggers. What a thrill! The chosen essay, On Being Nine, is a mother-daughter story about harnessing the power of being nine. It’s one of my favorites, so the honor was especially sweet.

Leading up to the event, I told people that the piece was a gift to my daughter and my mother. This is very much true. But what I didn’t realize until afterward is that the Voices of the Year experience–sharing my story and voice with thousands of people–was also a gift to myself. And it was absolutely a gift I’ll never forget. I owe many people thanks.

Thank you to BlogHer for the opportunity and the virtual coaching. Thank you to my friends and family who cheered me on from near and far. Thank you to everyone who shared their own mother-daughter stories with me. (It’s pretty fantastic how many former 9-year-olds had grandiose nicknames like mine!) Thank you to the ENT doctor who tried his best to heal my laryngitis when I went completely mute two days before the conference. Thank you to everyone who said my extremely husky voice sounded cool. And finally, thank you to whoever was in charge of the Voices of the Year music. I absolutely LOVED walking out on stage to Johnny Cash! I fell into a burning ring of fire… I’m happy to report nobody went down in flames. 

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Update: The videos are now online! You can view mine here. I was honored to share the stage with such incredible talent. All of the readers brought unforgettable stories, so I encourage you to spend some time watching their videos. I especially loved the hilarious pieces by Shari Simpson of Dusty Earth Mother and Neil Kramer of Citizen of the Month, plus the touching ones by Vikki Reich of Up Popped a Fox and Dresden Shumaker of Creating Motherhood.