Valentine

I am grateful to have so many deserving Valentines in my life, but today I’m sending extra love to one who has been a dear and devoted ally in my journey through motherhood, not to mention that ancient time before it.  All of this support and she has never once expected a handwritten card, a box of chocolates, a lap dance, or anything else in return. What says love more than that?

Here she is captured during some of her finest parenting moments…

Playing gracious host to a new arrival. And forgiving me immediately.
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Alerting me of a “playing in the recycling bin” transgression.
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Showing Dad Mom’s way the right way to bathe a kid.
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Monitoring time-out.
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Overseeing tummy time
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Playing hide n seek.
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Overseeing third round of tummy time, even though it’s harder with arthritis.
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Giving the spotlight, every single time, to someone else.
Even though you had my heart first.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Zoe!
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Inheritance

In the process of my New Year cleaning and organizing extravaganza, I came across a beloved photo that my grandmother gave me many years ago. It is truly one of my most treasured gifts from her.

More than any piece of jewelry, china or clothing she left behind, this one photo speaks volumes about the spirited woman I adored.

In case you can’t read her handwriting…

Irene was perched on a snow bank so prissy. Leola was fixing to take her picture. You can see my foot and hand where I came over and pushed her over. I wouldn’t take anything for this one–and Irene would give me anything for it.

How hilarious is that??

Back-up plan

As I mentioned last week, I’m filling my precious kid-free hours by making plans and setting goals for the new year. This can be a stressful exercise for someone with lofty ambitions, limited time, ample fear, and a newly adopted Omigod I’m 40 and I Gotta Make Something Happen tendency.

But I’m pushing through…armed with the reassurance that if my career as a writer and photographer falls through, I can always manage my kids’ wildly successful careers as the next Jackass stars.

Get it together

Oh January, you wily creature, you. After the joyful upheaval of the holidays I am always desperate for you to arrive. We remove the Christmas tree from the living room and suddenly our crowded space seems limitless. A clean slate! Room to do cartwheels again!

And a week later, once the recycling truck has come and gone with an obscene amount of cardboard, I turn to my office and to my own aspirations for the new year.

And much like the tree and the living room, I search for space for my dreams and plans to stretch out and prepare for their own cartwheels.

My method usually starts with a good purging and a few thousand clear, plastic boxes. In my mind, there is no transition problem that can’t be solved with clear boxes and a label-maker.

In the midst of the sorting and the tossing, the lists and the goals, I aim to remember that my lofty 2012 resolutions also include this simple dictate: Have more fun.

To keep me focused on that essential goal, I add something to my office that needs neither clear box nor label…a print of the above photo with the following caption, overheard just the other day:

“Dad, come over here and build. It’s not just the organizing that’s fun.”

Predictions for 2012

That the new year will be filled with more magic, but only if nobody pokes an eye out.
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That our next whoopie cushion will last just barely longer than 24 hours.
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That the obnoxious “whee-hoo-whee-hoo-whee-hoo” guns from Grandma will accidentally get thrown out with the gift wrapping trash.
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That, if kept in the right hands, the portable megaphone will prove to be the most practical Christmas gift ever.
Happy New Year!

Zen Parenting

Tomorrow night, my angel will adjust her wings and fly toward something she has been dreaming about for six years. The first time I took her to The Nutcracker, I shrugged off the “you’re taking a 3-year-old to do what?” comments, pulled out our holiday finery and loaded up my purse with peppermint bribes. She made it almost two hours before needing a mint and has been hooked ever since.

My Doodlebug is an unusually disciplined student, and I often wonder how her life will play out, what she will pursue, and how I will help shape the person she becomes. We parents can only do so much, I know, but yet we can do so much. A little food for thought as our children twirl and leap toward their futures…


Happiness is Contagious

If you always compare your children’s abilities
to those of great athletes, entertainers, and celebrities,
they will lose their own power.
If you urge them to acquire and achieve,
they will learn to cheat and steal
to meet your expectations.

Encourage your children’s deepest joys,
not their superficial desires.
Praise their patience,
not their ambition.
Do not value the distractions and diversions
that masquerade as success.
They will learn to hear their own voice
instead of the noise of the crowd.

If you teach them to achieve
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything.

We all want our children to be happy.
Somehow, some way today
show them something that makes you happy,
something you truly enjoy.
Your own happiness is contagious.
They learn the art from you.

~William Martin’s The Parent’s Tao Te Ching

Deaf ears

“Do I have to go to the piano recital?”
Yes.
“Can I bring my DS?”
No. And before you ask why, I’ll remind you that this is a big deal for your sister. And we are a family who cheers each other on. We show up. We celebrate. We pay attention. We don’t sit in the audience tuned out and plugged into some little device. Got it?