Don’t ask me…all I know is that I CANNOT TOUCH ANY OF THIS OR ELSE!
The artist’s lair
3
Category Archives: You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?
good night and good morning
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
~Emerson
Pollyanna’s dirty little secret
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
~Herm Albright
* * *
House guest
Rascal’s class mascot, Larry, spent a recent weekend with us. As part of Larry’s visit, we kept a diary of all the fun he had with our family, and the diary was then shared with the entire class on Monday morning. Even though we did this assignment two years ago with Doodlebug, we apparently still have much to learn. A few take-away lessons this time around:
1.) It’s super cute to take Larry to piano lessons with you. It makes your child seem exceptional and your family artsy and sophisticated.
2.) It’s very cool to take Larry on a nature hike. It makes your child seem adventurous and your family earthy and laid-back.
3.) It’s not so cool to write in the diary that during the nature hike Larry saw a “dead squirrel with maggots crawling out of its guts.” It makes your child seem creepy and your family thoughtless and disturbed.
Maybe by the time Smiley hits kindergarten we will have the drill down properly.
* * *
Having a ball
And I thought the dogs were possessive.
Refined taste
His favorite nightcap offers a robust bite with an earthy bouquet.
* * *
Should I offer to pay for a tattoo?
We’ve got a new problem with Rascal. Every morning before school he insists on slicking his hair back all proper like. He even uses, gasp, a comb. No more messy-headed Austintatious hair. As I’m sure you understand, I’m having a really hard time accepting this.
Long before I had children I vowed not to interfere with things like hairstyles and fashions. There are bigger things to worry about, right? I promised myself I wouldn’t go ballistic when he opted for a mohawk or dreads, but this…?
Well, let’s just say I never promised he could run around looking like Alex P. Keaton. Totally unacceptable!
The next thing you know he’ll want to vote Republican.
* * *
News flash
Holy crap, Mama, it’s gonna be hot as blazes today!
* * *
A rose is a rose is a rose
“No Mom, that is not my whiny voice, it’s my almost whiny voice.”
* * *
Manners 101
“Kids, sit DOWN. Seriously, no more horsing around. See how Smiley is imitating you? He’s watching you and thinking it’s OK to jump up and down in his chair at dinnertime. You’ve got to show him what’s polite.”
<PAUSE>
“Excuuuuuuse me. You see, baby, when you toot at the table you need to say Excuse Me.”
