What’s the first thought that popped into your head?
A. Wow, where DOES he get his fearless athletic abilities?
B. You are so lucky to have a future Jackass star in the family!
C. I think you skipped a chapter in the Great Parenting Handbook.
D. Time to go all Tiger Mom and get this kid in a Pre-Olympic Training program.
E. Thank God I have daughters.
F. You call that cute? Wait til you see my kid doing aerials on rollerskates!
G. Here’s the name of my personal-injury lawyer. Just in case.
H. Pass the Xanax.
I. Know what would be even cooler? Hooking up a helmet cam on that kid!
January: the time to assess and reassess. To take stock. Make plans. Set goals.
I’m shaking off my holiday hibernation and am now knee-deep in all of the above. It’s energizing to look at the long list of projects I have on my horizon.
The first thing I can share with you…I’m thrilled, once again, to be co-directing Austin’s 3rd annual Listen to Your Mother show with the fabulous Wendi Aarons. We are now accepting submissions and hope you will share your stories of the good, the bad, and the ridiculous of motherhood. For details and inspiration, visit our website and YouTube channel.
As if I needed any more reminding, our Christmas tree stands proudly in the living room bearing all the signs that kids live here.
The gaudy seahorse, who apparently hit the Black Friday sales rack at Sam Moon and couldn’t stop herself; the salt-dough gingerbread boy who is painted in nontraditional Christmas attire because its creator went through an extended blue period where no other color would suffice; and of course, the wise Yoda, who like the Magi comes cloaked in robes bearing peace and glad tidings. Happy the Holidays we hope you have!
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As always, thank you for reading and sharing this space with me.
I’ll be unplugging for the holidays, though I will likely sneak in some
periodic Instagram and Facebook posts.
Join me there or enjoy some of my favorite posts from 2012.
Things that are “RIDICULOUS” to a precocious 10-year-old girl:
• Dad standing outside the shower telling me to hurry up. I am hurrying!
• Every single boy in the 4th grade. Except maybe two of them.
• In that Backyardigans episode my little brother watches, the Olympians are playing basketball when the sport wasn’t even INVENTED until like the 1890′s
• Bedtime rules on school nights
• That Mom and Dad always know when I sneak candy
• Peanut butter
• Girls who go nutso over 1D. I mean, I love their music but really?
• My brothers and all their wrestling
• When I can’t stay up as late as I want to read. It’s reading! It’s educational!
• With the word moist you pronounce the t, but with moisten you don’t
• Crying and whining totally works for my little brother
• Watching Star Wars for the bazilliionth time because my brothers got to pick
• I can’t have a playdate today when I NEVER EVER see my friends
• Pancakes without bacon
• Mom’s no-soda rule
• That one lady on Design Star
• Mom and Dad telling me not to nitpick
• That casual attire doesn’t always means Nike shorts and a T-shirt
• People in the world who haven’t read the Harry Potter series a million times
• Pretty much every pair of clean socks in my drawer
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You likey? This is the third in a mini-series. Check out the ANNOYING and BORING things here!
Things that are “ANNOYING” to a busy 8-year-old boy:
• Mom’s No-Fart-Jokes-at-the-Dinner-Table rule
• Double-knotted laces when I’m trying to rip off my shoes without untying them
• Spelling rules
• Spelling tests
• Stupid pencils with no stupid erasers when I have to study for stupid spelling tests
• Big sisters who think they know everything about mythology when really only I do
• Little brothers who copy everything
• When mom says he copies just because he wants to be like me
• Sitting down to eat
• When the coolest part of the creek has stagnant water that freaks Mom out
• Learning a new video game
• Turning off a video game when I just learned how to play it LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO
• Playing chase (or anything!) with girls who make up too many rules
• Cleaning up my awesome Lego stuff on vacuum day
• When superheroes get all mushy
• Re-showering when I forget to wash my stinky parts
• Toothbrushes and flossers that are supposed to make me like brushing and flossing
• Alarm clocks
• Having to hear the “Family Plan for the Day”
• Anything that’s not awesome